What Happened?!

You people make me sick! I've been in this f**kin' box for almost a year, and nobody's come to get me yet! What the f**k is wrong with you motherf**kers?! Don't you care about fellow human beings who are trapped in boxes full of monkeys? I hate you all! Do you realize that it's been 7 months since I was able to make contact with the outside world? Do you know why it's been 7 months?

BECAUSE THE MONKEYS HIT ME SO HARD I WENT INTO A F**KIN' COMA, THAT'S WHY!

I thought for sure that someone would come get me, but I just woke up a few minutes ago, and I'm still here! The monkeys must have been keeping me alive for their own amusement. Hmmm...

Yeah. There are banana peels everywhere. They've been feeding me and everything. The crafty little freaks. But now, it's finally time to get out. And I don't need any help from you, "Monkey Master." You abandoned me back in February, but when I get outta here, I'm coming to your friggin' house!

...Even though you don't live in a house right now...

ANYWAY...It's time to get out. Don't you dare make any noise, you traitors. I can do this by myself.

...
...
...

eeeeeeeee...

What? Look, we've been through this already. I don't need your help.

EEEEEEEEEEEE...

If you keep doing that, I'm coming to your house, too! Just let me sneak out of here so I can get my revenge.

EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

AAAAAAAHHHH! NOT AGAIN! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!

EEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

YOU F**KIN' MONKEYS! GET AWAY FROM ME! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL THAT-OW!!!! You got my pinky! I need that to do my impression of Dr. Evil!

YOU'RE ALL GONNA PAY FOR THIS, MONKEYS! I MEAN IT THIS TIME!!!

Where Have All the Monkeys Gone?

Okay...seriously...does anyone care if I keep updating this thing? I have a much more succcessful blog to maintain, and the monkeys seem like a complete waste of time.

I don't know if I'll be back here.

Here's the Friggin' Picture!

Okay, for all you Google people, here's a picture of the evil monkey from Family Guy:




Now leave a comment or GET OUT!

Monkey Fix!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MONKEY GET NEW COMMENTS! HELP MONKEY TEST NEW COMMENTS! GOOGLE PEOPLE CAN HELP MONKEY TOO! LEAVE COMMENT FOR MONKEY! EEEEEEEEEE!

MONKEY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MONKEY HOPE YOU HAVE MERRY CHRISTMAS! MONKEY LOVE CHRISTMAS! MONKEY LIKE GETTING BANANAS AND SINGING CAROLS! MONKEY SING CHRISTMAS CAROL FOR YOU!

EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEEE!
EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEEE!
EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEEEE!
EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEEEE!
EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEE!
EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEEEEE!
EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEE!
EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEEEEE!
EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEE!
EEEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEEEEEEEE! EEE! EEE!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

SILENT NIGHT MONKEY'S FAVORITE CAROL!

In all seriousness, Merry Christmas to everyone coming here from Google and to my two regular readers.

-The Monkey Master-

Message to Google Users

Look, the blurb says that there are no Family Guy monkey pictures here, so why are you still clicking through? I don't have any pictures of the evil monkey!

In any case, my evil monkeys could take that poser any day of the week. Right, monkeys?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

See?

UPDATE

Evil Monkeys is the number 1 Google search result for eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Note From the Monkey Master

Okay, if you came here from a search engine looking for pictures of the evil monkey from Family Guy, you won't find them here. However, if you like evil monkeys in general, the entire point of this blog is creating humorous situations involving evil monkeys. Occasionally, I'll even throw in a baboon or a qwyjibo.

So, even if you didn't mean to come here, leave a comment or something if you like what you see. I used to have two regular readers, but they haven't been here in a while. I just want to make people laugh.

(/pathetic comment whoring)